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A is for Art of this age-end variety;

We Decadants simply can’t get a satiety.

B is for Beardsley, the idol supreme,

Whose drawings are not half so bad as they seem.

C is for Chap-Book, the pater familias

Of magazines started by many a silly ass.

D is for Darn it—it’s awfully shocking

Your Dekel-edge Hosiery, Mistress

Blue stocking.

E is for Editor; what does it mean?

Everyone now runs his own magazine.

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F is for Freak: see the great exposition

Of freak magazines—6 and 10 cents admission.

G is for Goup: I would much rather be

A nice Purple Cow than a G-O-U-P.

H is for Humbug, attempts to be Horrid!

(See Mlle. New York, she’s decidedly torrid.)

I am an Idiot, awful result

Of reading the rot of the Yellow Book cult

J is for JENSON, the TYPE of the day,

Some people can’t read any other, they say.

K is for Kimball, assistant of Stone;

I wonder how he will get on all alone.

L is for Lark, and the fellows who planned it. Say even they cannot but half understand it!

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M is for Magazines recklessly recent;

I know of but one that is anyway decent.

N stands for Nothing; I wish it had stood for

A little bit more than the fly-Leaf was good for.

O’s for Oblivion—ultimate fate

Of most of the magazines published of late

P is for Poster; the best one, by far,

Is the one that was made for our own P.J.R. (Price 4 bits.)

Q is for Quarrel; Harte, Hubbard and Taber,

To run the Philistine, each other belabor

R is for Rubbish; are you looking for some?

Just open the Bauble and put down your thumb.

S is for Stevie Crane, infant precocious,

Who has written some Lines that are simply ferocious.

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T is for Thomas B. Mosher of Maine,

Whose dinkey toy prefaces give me a pain.

U is for Useless and far beneath notice;

But I don’t want to say all of that of the Lotus.

V is for Versification and Verse;

We thought Chips was bad, but the Olio’s worse.

W’s for Woman, whom editors humor;

In the new field of letters, perennial bloomer.

X is for Something Unknown—let us say

How in the world do these magazines pay?

Y is for Young, and I marveled to learn

That fifty’s the average age of Les Jeunes.

Z is for Zounds! what unspeakable deco-

Rativeness Bradley has furnished for Echo.

Anne Southhampton Bliss

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This work is licensed by Johanna Drucker under a Creative Commons Attribution License (CC-BY 3.0), and is an Open Educational Resource.

Last edited by Ben Allen on Jun 29, 2009 2:59 pm -0500.